Wednesday, October 26, 2016

The Long Answer, Part 3

“Mr. Corn exhibits perceptual evidence of a mild-moderate dysarthria, with clinical features which appear compatible with a Spastic (upper motor neuron) Dysarthria, including slow, reduced rate, imprecise articulation, slow but regular AMR’s (alternating motion rate), low pitch, reduced variability of pitch and loudness.”  That is the heart of the report that I received from Virginia Chapa, speech pathologist at Mayo Clinic in November of 2015.  She had mentioned the word Dysarthria in our discussion and explained that it is a motor speech disorder which is typically the result of impaired movement of the muscles used for speech production.  This issues from some damage to the brain.  I suppose all of us know someone who has speech difficulty after a stroke.  My situation is not dissimilar to that with an important exception, CBD is progressive.  There is no way of knowing where it will stop and most people with this disease eventually become unable to speak.  As I said in my last blog post, I have talked for a living.  The idea of becoming silent is more than a little frightening.

Now, there is nothing funny about any of that, but at least two aspects of my time with Mrs. Chapa made me smile.  After we had spoken for just a few minutes she gave me a test.  I was to name as many animals as I could in 60 seconds.  What was funny about this was I had seen John Travolta given the same test in the movie Phenomenon.  He had blown the evaluator away by naming a list of animals in alphabetical order and then asked if the examiner would like another list of different animals in reverse alphabetical order!  No, I didn’t get as far along as Travolta, but I did get 27 animal listed before I was stopped by a smiling Mrs Chapa.  She informed me that most people come up with 15 animals, I had passed with flying colors!  Mrs. Chapa immediately wanted to know why I had done about 20 of these in alphabetical order and I explained about the movie.  “Well, this proves two things, there is nothing wrong with your memory and you do not suffer from aphasia!”  I suppose it was the quizzical look on my face which led her to explain that aphasia is an inability to find the right word.  I think coming up with benobo, a sort of dwarf chimpanzee, in my list demonstrated I was aphasia free!

The other humorous thing was Mrs. Chapa’s suggestions to me about my speech.  Since she knew I was a pastor she felt it important for me to explain my speech difficulties to my congregation lest they think I had been drinking!  Along this same line she suggested I get a letter from my doctor explaining that I had a neurological problem which often slurred my speech.  This was to be kept in my car just in case a policeman who pulled me over assumed the worst!  I jokingly followed through with the first of these suggestions but not the second.  I just can’t see a letter stopping a policeman from drawing his or her own conclusions.

That was about a year ago.  If my dysarthria was mild to moderate then I believe it would simply be classified as moderate now.  In other words, it has gotten noticeably worse in a year’s time.  This was one of the leading factors in my resignation from the pastorate.  I began to realize that doing a Sunday School class and preaching twice on Sunday was just too much talking for one day. 

My vocal problems have also affected my interaction with people.  Since there are times that it is a struggle to get things across I have become more of a listener, which isn’t all bad.  When I complained about this to a good friend he jokingly responded, “It makes you seem more intelligent!”  Perhaps so, perhaps not, but as I explained to him, the witty rejoinder is my stock-in-trade.  I just can’t throw a verbal hand grenade into a conversation anymore whether it is to cause a laugh or shoot down an argument.

Oddly enough I can still preach.  There is something about the setting which forces me to work harder at articulation.  Preaching has always been an intense thing for me, but with the added speech problems I have been forced to take it up a notch. I don’t speak anywhere near as fast, but I do so with deeper emotion and, I believe, more unction.  Some have even said that all of these problems have made me a better preacher.  In the words of Forrest Gump, “Now, I don’t know about that…”  but I do know that it has made me realize what a great privilege it has been to preach God’s Word.  I am thankful for it.


A final thought on all of this.  As far as I can tell, CBD has yet to affect either my memory or my intellect.  I feel certain that some assume it has.  Being quiet really isn’t in my nature, but it will have to become so for the rest of my days.  A few friends do seem to actively solicit my contributions to conversations and I appreciate that, but I know it will become less and less.  This is the hand that I have been dealt.  The question is, how well will I play it?

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