I am not a follower of contemporary Christian
music. In what have been called the
“worship wars,” I was always on the side of more traditional hymns and what
some might call a formal approach to the musical side of a worship
service. I have tried not to be
antagonistic to those who have different tastes, but I doubt I could name one
song or artist who has won a Dove Award.
With that as my background, I was somewhat surprised when I came across
a contemporary Christian song that moved me deeply.
I often have the TV in my Study tuned to the
Youtube Channel and zeroed in on music, which is often little more than
background as I read. One day my
attention was arrested by a song entitled Chain
Breaker by Zach Williams. I went
back and listened to it a second time, and as the chorus repeated I began to
see how that song spoke to my need. The
chorus says,
If you’ve
got pain, He’s a pain taker
If you feel
lost, He’s a way maker
If you need
freedom or saving, He’s a prison-shaking Savior
If you’ve
got chains, He’s a chain breaker
Now, I fully realize that the intent of the
songwriter is to say how Jesus can save our souls and untangle the web we often
find ourselves caught in, but I had a different application in mind.
If you’ve
got pain, He’s a pain taker
I can’t complain of major pain, but I do have
pain. How much to attribute to CBD
(Corticobasal Degeneration) and how much is the result of a broken hip I can’t
tell. I often have sharp pain in my left
shin and ankle, dull pain in my hip, and continual discomfort in my left
arm. If I sit for more than a few
minutes I will stiffen up, making my gait look more like that of Tim Conway
doing his “little old man” routine.
If you feel
lost, He’s a way maker
I apply this to the dark cloud of depression that
seems to move in like an unexpected cold front.
I am not clinically depressed, and I am anything but suicidal, but every
which way I turn I find more restriction.
My world seems to be shrinking, and the relentless nature of this gets
me down. I admit it--often I feel lost.
If you need
freedom or saving, He’s a prison-shaking Savior
Freedom means different things to different
people. I am sure that prisoners think
of freedom as being on the other side of the bars and outside the walls of
their prison. I don’t deal with that
sort of confinement. I suppose you could
say I am under a sort of “house arrest,” but it is a very nice house and I
don’t mind spending far more hours at home than I ever have in the past. Sure, cabin fever will make an occasional
appearance, but it doesn’t stay long.
The freedom I miss is to walk without effort, to be sure-footed enough
that I don’t have to constantly either be looking down or anxious about my next
step. I suppose freedom and independence
are not quite synonymous, but they do go together. About a year and half ago my neurologist
asked me if I was still dressing myself.
I was a bit taken aback by the question and wondered if it would come to
that. It has. What’s more, at my last visit to Dr. Callahan
we talked about my giving up driving. My
argument has always been that it is primarily my left side that is affected by
CBD, and you work the gas and brake with your right foot. The neurologist pointed out that my reactions
would not be as good as they used to be even on my right side, and that if I
ever were involved in an accident my neurological condition would probably be
used against me.
If you’ve
got chains, He’s a chain breaker
Yes, I have chains and I am not too proud to admit
it, but I also realize Jesus is a chain breaker. Having reflected on what chain
breaking would mean in my situation, I can think of only three
possibilities. The first is some sort of
medical intervention. Having scoured the internet for possibilities, I come
again and again to the line, “There is no treatment for CBD and nothing that
has been shown to slow its progress.”
The second possibility is divine healing. I should point out that I don’t see medical
treatment and God’s intervention as mutually exclusive; in fact, medical
treatment might well be the way the good Lord answers prayers for healing. That caveat aside, I have begged God for
healing. I know multitudes of people
have prayed and will continue to pray for me, and I am fully convinced that God
is more than capable of miraculously healing my degenerative disease. Something tells me that is not God’s plan for
me. While I have not had the experience
of the Apostle Paul recorded in 2 Corinthians 12 about his “thorn in the
flesh,” I believe the Lord is saying to me, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say that he would boast in
his weakness. I am not there yet, and I
may not ever get there, but I am resting on the phrase, “My grace is all you
need.” Finally, and ultimately, I know
Jesus can break my chains by calling me home.
I have a recurring dream where I fall down, which has become an ever
more frightening thing, and before I realize what I’m doing I almost spring to
my feet. In the dream it occurs to me, I
can’t do that, and then the realization dawns on me that I must be dead! Nothing hurts, and just as I begin to walk, I
wake up. Let me say again, I don’t want
to die, but I have every confidence that making the inevitable step into
eternity will be when I hear the clank of my chains falling away. You see, He’s a chain breaker.
