Alone

Have you ever felt alone? I suppose all of us would have to admit to that, every once in a while. Now, there are times when it is good to be alone. I work best in a quiet environment and that is facilitated by the absence of people! Still, most of us have a need for social interaction, for feeling like we are a part of a group. As someone observed we are born alone and we die alone and between those two bookends we are looking to connect. It is part of what makes us human.

Sad to say, there will be times when this necessary part of our humanity goes unfulfilled. If this goes on for a long period of time we feel lonely, a sort of sadness that will only be alleviated by social interaction. If we don't have that need met we can end up like Tom Hank's character in the movie, Castaway. He was driven to risk his life to escape his loneliness.

There are all sorts of reasons for loneliness. The people who my heart goes out to are the one's who want to connect and don't seem to understand how. Maybe it is because I have suffered from that a bit myself, but whatever the reason, it is the kind of hurt which should not be allowed since it is so easily remedied. My appeal is to find those that are not interacting and striving to draw them in. Sure, they are a bit on the odd side at times, since they don't have the rough edges knocked off by interaction with others, but that will come.

It may be asking too much for the "in crowd" to look for outsiders to include. What can those who are alone do about it? Well, the first thing is to not draw in tighter, acting as though refusing to interact will hurt the wider world. It won't. Find some way to interact with someone, better quite a few someones. Stepping out, looking for interaction, especially when you are emotionally vulnerable will take courage, but I believe it is worth it. Refuse to become a prisoner of your own loneliness. It is a terrible thing to do when you have the key to door in your hand.

The Light

Have you ever had a particularly down day? I suppose there might be a few people who could say no, but most of us have had our share of "blue days." Recently, we had a day long weather front move thorough and the result was that it was dark, damp, and even a bit stormy all day long. The experts tell us there is something called "Seasonal Affective Disorder" or simply "SAD." Well, the bad weather gave me a pretty good case of "SAD." Now, don't get me wrong, this is not some sort of confession of an emotional illness, it is rather a suggestion based on my experience of how to deal with down days.

I think one of the first responses I try is to stay busy. If you can focus on your work, especially something you have put off, it can give you a sense of accomplishment. There will be times though when you can't get motivated enough to tackle a task, what then? My next response is to get around people. This gets the focus off of you and your problems. On this recent blue day I went to a ministers meeting and was greeted with the news that a pastor friend had resigned his church. This led to another pastor going off on how much he would like to quit! If I was looking for cheering conversation it was clear that I was not going to get it here. That did lead very naturally to my third response, trying to lift someone else's burden. Think about it, no matter how bad you think you have it there is some poor sap who is having a far worse day. In fact, I may have been the happiest person at that meeting of ministerial malcontents.

My last coping mechanism is to remember that even though it is raining now, it won't rain forever. In fact, this morning is a real contrast to yesterday. I remember a preacher friend once saying that his favorite quote from the Bible was "it came to pass." It may be dark and damp, even depressing today, but tomorrow is coming and with it the light.