Boots

I have always enjoyed Christmas, though I think that enjoyment has evolved over the years.  Early on, it was about what I might get and later about what I could give.  I think the latest step in the evolutionary trek is having opportunity to interact with people that I don't see all that often.  This year I had opportunity to talk with my nephew's daughter, Jane.  She is 5 and I suppose I see her maybe three times per year.  I noticed at our Christmas get together she was wearing boots, and looking for some way to interact with her I asked about them.  I suppose that we talked about her perspective on and history with boots for maybe five minutes.  Now, she did not say anything profound on the subject, but she did have definite opinions and all of this brought a smile to my face.  That, I think, was one of the best Christmas presents I got this year.  Children will do that for you, especially when you are not really expecting it and don't have any right to it.  I mean, after all, I'm just "Uncle Randy" who is very seldom around and yet she seemed delighted to tell me about her boots.  This leads me to say that I think it is the personal interaction that makes a holiday memorable.  Jane did that for me.  I am already looking forward to next year.  Maybe we will talk about hats.

Conviction or Preference?

Years ago I read an insightful piece by Warren Wiersbe about Christian decision making.  As I recall he said that every decision we have to make falls into one of three categories.  They are either matters which are fundamental, matters of conviction, or matters of preference.  Obviously, there is a desending order of importance in these terms.  Now it is entirely legitimate to make a decision based upon considerations from any one of those categories.  What typically happens in Christian circles is that something which really is a preference we elevate to the level of a conviction and possibly even to the level of a fundamental.  The example which comes to my mind is either having a projector "putting the words on the wall" or singing out of the hymnal.  I can't really see how anyone could say that is anything more than a preference.  Yet, if you have been involved in the "worship wars" you know that people are quick to think of themselves as Martin Luther standing up for justification by grace when they defend using hymnals.

The purpose of this post is not to make a strike in the worship war.  I use it simply as introductory to what I do want to say.  Recently I heard of a church board issue where the lay leadership unanimously wanted the pastor to change something about their church.  The pastor refused.  Who was right?  As I heard the story my mind went to that bit of wisdom from Warren Wiersbe.  Was the issue at hand a matter of conviction or preference?  Now, I do think there are times when pastors must be willing to draw a line in the sand about some things.  I see this as a matter of conviction.  However, if it was an issue of preference, even though the pastor disagreed, shouldn't his say leadership have some input?  If it really is a matter of preference, can't some compromise be worked out?

I suppose the bottom line for me was having the wisdom to discern between a conviction and a preference.  That would seem to be common sense.  Unfortunately, common sense is not all that common.  I do hope all of this can be worked out for that church.  I don't suppose I will ever know since I really only accidentally heard the tale. Whatever happens though it has gotten me to thinking about the process of decision making and maybe it has done the same for you.

Giving Thanks

I suppose I will be one of multitudes who will blog about thankfulness this week.  So be it.  I really do want to articulate some of the things that I am thankful for.  As a Christian I am certainly thankful for my salvation, but I want to emphasize one corollary to that concept.  God did not just save me, He called me into the ministry.  That means I have the opportunity to be vitally involved in the spiritual formation of an entire congregation.  Now, there are some of the members here at Bethlehem that I don't seem as connected to as others.  I am not saying there is an antagonism, just not as much of a friendship as with others.  Maybe they are just not looking for that from their pastor.  I am particularly thankful for those that do count me a friend.  I have the privilege of being a coach, a guide, a cheerleader, a spiritual resource, and a prayer partner for them.  To summarize it in biblical terms, I am there to care for their souls.  I cannot imagine a bigger challenge or a more satisfying possible vocation.  I suppose what I'm saying is that I am thankful for my church, but I am also thankful for God's calling to this church.

A Good Book

If I am asked about my hobbies I often mention golf, the spin bike, or old movies but I would have to say my keenest avocation is books.  I have always loved books.  It began with the complete set of Dr. Seuss and continues to this day.

Now, you might assume that when I say books are my hobby that I spend a lot of time reading.  Actually, while I do read a bit more than the average person (and that is not saying much) what I really enjoy is finding books.  I really love going to junk stores or library sales, or to used book stores like McKay's.  I always go with an idea of looking for a particular book or books, but am often happy to find things I really didn't know I was looking for!

There is a real benefit to having people know you enjoy a good book.  It means they will give you what they think of as good books.  Obviously, that will mean that you get some that are not worth the shelf space, but some that really are a find.  Recently, I was given a copy of Jerry Bridges book, The Transforming Power Of The Gospel.  I have to say it is one of the clearest books on spirituality I have ever come across.  I don't know for sure, but I think I will benefit from it tremendously.

What a thing to consider.  I have never met and will probably never meet, Jerry Bridges, and yet in this book I have the distillation of his wisdom on a very important subject.  That leads me to say that I believe books are a great way to benefit from the experience and insight of all sorts of people.  They may have died hundreds of years ago and they may have written in a language you cannot speak, but with a good translation you got to hear their voice.

All of that leads me to say, find a good book---and read it.

Post Surgery

It was seven years ago today that I was having a quintuple heart by-pass performed at Saint Thomas Hospital.  To say the least, that was a memorable event.  In fact, I have come to think of it as a marker in my life.  "Now was that before or after my heart surgery?"  I recall hearing David Letterman say about his by-pass that it was the most profound experience of his life and that he recommended it to everyone!  Well, I don't think I would go that far, but I know what he meant.

The other day I said to my wife, suppose I had an audience with God while I was unconscious having the surgery and He had said to me, "Randy, I'm giving you seven years."  How well have I used them? My dear wife told me that she knew I pray more and read my Bible more post surgery.  She also thought that, taken as a whole, I'm a better preacher than I was before my surgery.  I think most importantly she thought I am more appreciative of her these days.

Well, if I had such an audience with God, I don't recall it.  I was told by my cousin, who works with anesthesia, that it is impossible for people to go into a dream state during surgery.  I will take his word for it.  I just know that I'm profoundly grateful to God for His watch care over me seven years ago and every day sense.  I suppose the best way to show that is to live for Him.

Being A Good Pastor

I have to admit that my thinking about what makes a good pastor has changed with time.  As a younger man I suppose I saw the pulpit as the paramount thing a pastor was to be concerned with.  I know that I have tried to spend the lion's share of my time preparing for my messages, especially my Sunday morning message.  And yet I was struck by something this past Saturday.  I went with a group from my church to the Ocoee River to do some whitewater rafting.  It was a lot of fun, and I have to say that I throughly enjoyed myself.  On the way back home though as we were just making small talk I suddenly realized again that I was old enough to be the father of any of the folks on that van!

Ok, I knew that already, but then I began to think about these younger folks.  What do they really need from me?  What can I do for them that would minister to their need that they are not likely to get from someone else?  Now, you might think I would say they could get good sermons from me, and that would be partly right.  Truth is though, there are other guys just as good (and some better) preaching in the pulpits a sensible driving distance from their homes.  I think the one thing that I can do is care for their souls.  I'm not saying that no one else, in time, would care for their spiritual well being, what I am saying is I care about it right now.

That leads me to one of the folks on that van.  I really like this person, but I know there is some real spiritual need there.  This brings me full circle to how my perception of the pastoral life has changed over time.  If I really am going to be a pastor to that person I need to be burdened by their problem.  That leads to praying in private and hopefully some personal counseling.

The older I get the more I realize that the pastoral life is about caring for others souls.  It isn't an easy thing, it isn't a public thing, I don't even think it is often an appreciated thing, but that being said it is what I see as the essence of being a good pastor.  I just pray the Lord will grant me opportunity to do more of it in the years ahead.

Alone

Have you ever felt alone? I suppose all of us would have to admit to that, every once in a while. Now, there are times when it is good to be alone. I work best in a quiet environment and that is facilitated by the absence of people! Still, most of us have a need for social interaction, for feeling like we are a part of a group. As someone observed we are born alone and we die alone and between those two bookends we are looking to connect. It is part of what makes us human.

Sad to say, there will be times when this necessary part of our humanity goes unfulfilled. If this goes on for a long period of time we feel lonely, a sort of sadness that will only be alleviated by social interaction. If we don't have that need met we can end up like Tom Hank's character in the movie, Castaway. He was driven to risk his life to escape his loneliness.

There are all sorts of reasons for loneliness. The people who my heart goes out to are the one's who want to connect and don't seem to understand how. Maybe it is because I have suffered from that a bit myself, but whatever the reason, it is the kind of hurt which should not be allowed since it is so easily remedied. My appeal is to find those that are not interacting and striving to draw them in. Sure, they are a bit on the odd side at times, since they don't have the rough edges knocked off by interaction with others, but that will come.

It may be asking too much for the "in crowd" to look for outsiders to include. What can those who are alone do about it? Well, the first thing is to not draw in tighter, acting as though refusing to interact will hurt the wider world. It won't. Find some way to interact with someone, better quite a few someones. Stepping out, looking for interaction, especially when you are emotionally vulnerable will take courage, but I believe it is worth it. Refuse to become a prisoner of your own loneliness. It is a terrible thing to do when you have the key to door in your hand.

The Light

Have you ever had a particularly down day? I suppose there might be a few people who could say no, but most of us have had our share of "blue days." Recently, we had a day long weather front move thorough and the result was that it was dark, damp, and even a bit stormy all day long. The experts tell us there is something called "Seasonal Affective Disorder" or simply "SAD." Well, the bad weather gave me a pretty good case of "SAD." Now, don't get me wrong, this is not some sort of confession of an emotional illness, it is rather a suggestion based on my experience of how to deal with down days.

I think one of the first responses I try is to stay busy. If you can focus on your work, especially something you have put off, it can give you a sense of accomplishment. There will be times though when you can't get motivated enough to tackle a task, what then? My next response is to get around people. This gets the focus off of you and your problems. On this recent blue day I went to a ministers meeting and was greeted with the news that a pastor friend had resigned his church. This led to another pastor going off on how much he would like to quit! If I was looking for cheering conversation it was clear that I was not going to get it here. That did lead very naturally to my third response, trying to lift someone else's burden. Think about it, no matter how bad you think you have it there is some poor sap who is having a far worse day. In fact, I may have been the happiest person at that meeting of ministerial malcontents.

My last coping mechanism is to remember that even though it is raining now, it won't rain forever. In fact, this morning is a real contrast to yesterday. I remember a preacher friend once saying that his favorite quote from the Bible was "it came to pass." It may be dark and damp, even depressing today, but tomorrow is coming and with it the light.

Anger

Have you ever had someone blow up at you with little or no provocation? That has been my experience from time to time and I don't think I am unique. Now, what do you do when someone "goes postal?" I suppose the first response is to fight back. After all, who are they to treat you that way! But now think about for a minute, will it really do any good to respond to fire with more fire? A less heated response (pun intended) may well be to try to reason with the individual. Of course, if their anger really is irrational, then what good will reasoning do? Finally, I suppose you might just apologize for whatever you did to set them off but there is a good possibility that will be thrown back in your teeth as well. After all, how sincere can you be when you don't have a clue why they are so mad?

Were I to stop here it would seem that there might be no resolution. It may well be that there is no immediate solution to such a problem. In other words, it will take time. When people have blown up at me I have usually gone through the steps above and predictably reached an impasse. It is only on reflection that I begin to think, "maybe there is some other issue at play here that I know nothing about. I was just the final straw."

Air Force pilots, in theaters of combat, often speak of "targets of opportunity." They are supposed to attack a given target but somewhere along the way a "target of opportunity" presents itself and they take their shot. Who knows maybe that irate person sees you as that target. Maybe that explains their over the top anger. Be understanding, give them time, and move on.

Can You Keep A Secret?

It happened years ago, when I was still in college. Our church had just gone through a pastoral transition and I, along with just about everybody else, was excited about the ministry of our new pastor. The church seemed fuller and the atmosphere more up beat.

One night someone close to that new pastor dropped by my dorm room and the conversation came around to what was going on at my home church. I sang the praises of my new pastor, but I did mention one negative. This was during the time of my life when I was beginning to understand the role of preaching and I had become convinced that expository preaching was the way to go. It was certainly what I was going to try to do whenever I got into the ministry. I said something like, "I will tell you a something, if you promise not to share it with the pastor. I wish he was more of an expositor." The conversation took a turn away from things ministerial and I would have forgotten it expect for what happened two weeks later on a Sunday morning. I was eagerly preparing to write down the outline of the Sunday morning message when the pastor said something like, "I don't know if any of you will want to write this down, since it certainly is not expository!" Since I was, to the best of my knowledge, the only person in the habit of writing down the outlines I took the pastor's remark personally. The only conclusion I could come to was that my dorm room conversation had been relayed to the pastor.

Now, what did I learn from all of this? First, I saw that even men that I looked up to could lash out at what they took as an affront. If his goal was to put me in my place, I suppose he accomplished it. I do know that I never wrote down another thing he said. I also have tried to be bigger than to scope someone in from the pulpit. Second, I learned that if you want to keep a secret, don't tell it. Maybe it was a touch of homiletical snobbery for me to wish my pastor was more of an expositor. I could have kept that to myself and no one would be the wiser. Still, I was asked very directly about it and I thought what I was saying was in confidence. Finally, if you are going to take someone into your confidence, be reasonably sure that you can trust them. It is a hurtful thing to realize that someone you thought of as a friend just can't wait to relay your remarks. I suppose all of this is just part of growing up. I know I am more cautious in what talk about and who I talk about it with as a result of this encounter.

My first thought was that I had inadvertently hurt this man's feelings. Then something else took over, how petty was it for him to shoot at me from the pulpit of my home church? What's more, our mutual acquaintance had betrayed a trust.